Saturday, October 3, 2009

Some Perspective Please

i have to admit that things have been crazy for a while lately, and therefore i have been crazy lately. i couldn't stop crying yesterday, but mostly cause lily wouldn't stop crying. my nerves were shot. i couldn't handle any extra noise, which included crying, screaming, and really even just talking. chris was home in the morning, which was good cause i really needed him to be an adult while i continued being the giant baby that has babies. part of my sadness/frustration was from lily and her NOISE, and from lily not being the perfect, obedient, sweet, even-tempered little girl i thought she would be, and from me not being the perfect, sweet, even-tempered mom i was so certain i would be! and every time chris tried to comfort me/understand what the heck was wrong with me, it made me cry more cause there was a good part of me that felt like i had failed him as a wife and mom to his kids. and he assured me over and over again that i was just straight up loco. i love that guy.

this did not all stem from the potty training misfire we experienced this week. or at least i don't think it did. i guess we've just had a ton going on these last few weeks/months. but i really did have a moment of clarity in the car the other day ago that this whole potty training thing was the BIGGEST problem in our lives- what a blessing!

and then i got an e-mail from wonderful Grandma Watson yesterday. grandma gets a lot of e-mails, and sends out lots of forwards and e-mails. she is very technologically savvy, and even has her own blog. i admit i don't often read all her forwards anymore, but when there is an untitled e-mail, it's usually personal and wonderful. except for this e-mail yesterday.

her son matt, who is the CPA of Watson & Watson CPA (where i 'work'/loiter), was just diagnosed with Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma, a rare and of course, aggressive form of cancer. what the heck?!?!? and my life this week was all about peepees on the potty. thanks for the reality check Jesus! matt actually had surgery to get a hernia removed about a week or two ago, and that's when they discovered something that didn't look right. the whole family has never praised Jesus for a hernia before, but we are thanking Him for this one now!

matt is actually doing quite well, cause he's awesome and a fighter. in his 'old age' (haha, some time in his forties) he decided he was going to start running marathons with his awesome wife syria. so in the last 3 or 4 years, they have run the PF Chang marathon twice, and have done a buttload of half-marathons. he has also started cycling, and has fallen off his expensive bike a handful of times, and one of those times had him in a canal. he may not be the best bike rider, but he is a great accountant, dad, husband, and uncle-in-law!

i am just writing for you to please pray for-
1. MATT! he is getting a PET scan on monday, and starts chemo on thursday.
2. Syria! she is a tough cookie, but even tough cookies need to be lifted up in prayer.
3. their two sons, ben and matt, and grandma, and grandpa, and really the whole Watson crew. cause no one wants their dad to have cancer, no one wants their son to have cancer, no one wants their brother to have cancer. truth be told- no one wants anyone to have cancer, but cancer doesn't care. but Jesus cares! and i pray that His glory will be seen in the midst of all this.
thanks in advance for your prayers, and if you want to know more about matt's cancer, you can check out this link:
http://www.lymphoma.org/

Friday, October 2, 2009

Potty Training- Day 3... Forget it...

I didn't post yesterday for a plethora of reasons. The main one being that we were out all evening at Wes and Kim's watching Josh's nationally televised college football game, where his team- the underdog UAB Blazers, beat the favored Southern Mississippi something or others. Josh is the kicker for his team, though he is a freshman, and he was beyond awesome yesterday! He made a 51 yard field goal, and made all of his other attempts as well. That'a boy Joshy!

I also didn't post yesterday because it was not a good day for me. Yesterday was Day2 Part II and it was a disaster on all fronts. I am officially waving the white flag (or white training pants) in defeat.
The major victories of yesterday were-
1. Lily did NOT pee in her car seat while we were out for about an hour.
2. Lily did NOT pee in her bed when she took a nap with her training pants on.

But the major failures were-
1. Lily cried every time I tried to put her on the potty, and by the end of the day M&Ms and a baby stroller were no longer enough to motivate her to sit on the can.
2. I cried a couple times and proved to be the most immature person in our home, even with a one and a half year old and a two and a half year old living there.
3. Lily did NOT pee on the potty at all yesterday, only soiling herself once, but almost giving herself a urinary tract infection. Or at least I was afraid she was going to.

Which I actually called the pediatrician for some advice, and they thought there was a possibility that Lily did have a UTI, and told me I should come in and check it out. But before going, I decided to test Lily out and see if she wasn't peeing cause it hurt too much, so I reluctantly put a diaper on the girl (her first day time diaper in two days) and she filled that puppy up with pee pee like it was going out of style! No tears, no screams.
Needless to say we didn't go to the doctor (that diaper saved me from a $20 co-pay and hours of sitting in the waiting room!) and we are putting potty training on hold for everyone's sake. I am praying for more patience and wisdom for the next time that we do this, and I am praying for Lily who has all the physical signs of readiness, but not the emotional ones?
After I took Lily's pee-filled diaper off of her, I asked her if she just wanted to sit on the toilet, no pressure to pee or anything as she could see that I was going to put another diaper on her, and she got up, ran to the bathroom, sat on the toilet (againa, no tears or screams) and patiently waited for her chocolate treat. And I guess that was a mini-victory at the end of a long long long day. Did I feel the effects of defeat and failure? Of course. But did I also feel a tremendous weight being lifted off of my shoulders when Chris suggested we put this project on hold? You betcha!
So stay tuned folks, cause I may have lost this portion of the potty battle, but the war shall be mine! Lily will not graduate high school in diapers!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Potty Training- Day 1 Part III

the day is over! at long last!!!!! so i wrote earlier at about 1pm. when lily should have been napping. she wet her training pants at about 10am. so surely she would have had to pee by 1pm. or at least 2pm. right? wrong. at about 2:50pm, while lily was crying cause she had to pee SO BADLY, i just plopped her down on the toilet in my bathroom, and held on to her, and she to me. it was kinda sweet. i could feel her relaxing, and then i could smell her farting, and i thought we were making some serious progress. i was just waiting to hear the steady stream of urine breaking the water in the toilet, but instead i started hearing a different, yet altogether very familiar sound- snoring. lily had fallen asleep on my shoulder while sitting on the can. wow. so i decided to sit there for another few minutes, hoping and praying that she would relax enough to just let it all go. to no avail.

so i put her on my bed, bare butt and all, on top of a few folded sheets that i was more than prepared to wash after lily woke up from her nap. she slept for two hours, and NO PEE. which was good news for me (and my mattress and bedding!) but oh how i longed to see some pee!!!! and oh how lily longed to rid her body of the pee! but she couldn't. or wouldn't. i sat her on the toilet again and in the midst of her screaming and struggling to get off the toilet, she dropped an ounce or two of pee. and she was DEVASTATED. i often have no idea what is going through lily's head, even when she is trying to verbalize it to me. but this not wanting to pee business is too far beyond my comprehension. i have heard about how kids hate pooing on the toilet because they feel like they are losing a part of themselves down the toilet. that i can ALMOST understand. but this is just pee! c'mon! IT'S.JUST.PEE.

barb came over for dinner. so great to have her over. i just needed some support, and an adult conversation, and someone to step in. no one better than Super Nana. barb had to force herself to pee pee on the toilet three times tonight. what a champ! (she did get some M&Ms out of the deal though.) i figure the woman's done it four times before this, so surely she would have some advice for me. but none of her kids were as stubborn as lily is. well, maybe Andi, but even then i don't think there were quite as many tears, or bribery tools being used either. and again- all to no avail. lily SLOWLY started letting go of her pee- first in her undies, then in her training pants, and finally on the bathroom step-stool. and i couldn't have been happier! (well, yes i could have been, but work with me here. stay in the moment with me.) she got an M&M for each accident, which i am sure a lot of people would frown upon me knowing i did that, but at this point i just have to convince lily that peeing is a good thing, and later i will have to convince her that peeing on the potty is a great thing (one M&M vs five!)

Potty Training- Day 2 and Day 1 Part II

Day 2- We went up to Heber to see Wes and Kim's new baby- a cabin that they affectionately refer to as 'The Abbey'. It was awesome to be up north where it was a ton cooler, and a ton less polluted. Very very nice. BUT, we did not do any real potty training stuff, so Day 2 was not a real potty training day, so...

We kinda find ourselvse back to square one, as in Day 1 Part II. So lame. I almost shouldn't have even started on Monday if I wasn't going to do this thing wholeheartedly. So this morning Lily has already peed in one of her training pants, and is now working on THREE hours and a half without peeing. That's kind of awesome, right? That she can hold it so long? But I don't want her to make herself sick by not peeing. And it's definitely nap time right now, but I know that once I put a diaper on her she is going to pee like she has never peed before. So we continue to wait....

I realize that as I am potty training my girl that this takes more discipline on my part than it does on hers. I keep wanting to go out and do stuff. But that means she is in a diaper again. So instead of me going out and doing what I want, I have to put my needs/desires on the back burner and wait and wait for Lily to pee. On the potty. So that I can give her some dang M&Ms. And that's what motherhood is about- pure selflessness, which is why I am not that good at this yet! But what I am really good at is peeing on the potty. And every timeI have done it today, I have eaten an M&M in front of Lily. I don't even need to eat lunch today- that's how much chocolate I have consumed :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Potty Training- Day One

We are officially settled in, and our 'normal lives' are back on track. I actually went in to work for the first time in over a month! (I know, how do I even have a job? Thank you nepotism!) Which means the babes had a day with their daddy, which they loved. Except that the beginning of the day involved waiting in the waiting room of the pediatrician's office for over an hour for Topher's 18-month check up. Fortunately the kids were good, and Topher didn't even mind getting two shots today. The doctor was impressed with our Toto's development and told Chris to think about potty training. Interesting... Since Lily isn't potty trained yet... So, we decided to give it a go for the both of them today, and this is what happened:
-We went to Target. We bought plain white training pants for Topher and Lily, and then some colorful ones for Topher, since Lily already has some. The doctor recommended starting with the plain ones, then 'rewarding' the kids with colorful ones once they peed on the potty a few times. He also said to get a treat that they love but won't get at any time other than when they potty, and to praise and praise like crazy once we have any signs of success. So we bought a bag of M&Ms, and a toy stroller/pack-n-play set for Lily.
-Then we went to Walmart and bought a toy shopping cart full of food for Topher's incentive gift. They had some at Target, but they were all pink and that was a big no-no for dad. BUt I was pretty impressed that Chris even was ok with his son playing with a shopping cart. Topher does love him some food though, even food that just looks like food but isn't really food.
-Then Chris ditched me and went to school. Thanks a lot Chris. ;)
-The potty fun began. The diapers came off and training pants were on. Our Elmo potty video was on in the background for a little extra motivation and we just sat and waited. And we drank juice. And we waited. We went about an hour and a half before we had any action. Right after we finished dinner, I was getting Topher out of his chair and noticed he was wet. Not surprising, even though I asked him and Lily if they had to pee about a million times while we were eating. So I took Topher out of his wet trainer and put on a new dry one. He was wet again within two minutes. But nothing got on the carpet- which is awesome. I contemplated whether I should just finish off the set of three training pants now, or bite the defeat-bullet and just put a diaper on him, and I went with the latter decision. Which ended up being The Best Decision of My Life, cause he dropped a GIGANTIC steamy deuce five minutes later. After wiping his butt, we all went into the bathroom and dropped the poop that was in the diaper into the toilet. Much applause ensued. My kids are nuts. The weirdest stuff amuses them.
-So Topher was done for the night, which was totally fine by me since we are just trying to get him used to the IDEA of potty training. But the Lilster was the real challenge of the day. And she was a drinking, and she was a sitting on the potty, but she was NOT peeing. And we were already at the two and a half hour mark...
-Long story short- she finally peepeed in the potty. At the three hour mark. Though thirty minutes prior she was begging me to put a diaper on her. She knew she had to pee but she just didn't want to. Test of wills- Mama came out on top! SO when she finally let herself go- it was amazing! For everyone. High fives were being thrown left right and center, M&Ms were being gobbled up, and Lily got the car seat/infant carrier piece from her 8 piece toy. There was much joy in the Watson Apartment.
So Day 1 down, we'll see how many more it takes for Lily to be an 'Official Big Girl'.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

LIVIN' anti-LARGE!

We are moved in and almost settled in! This has been one crazy week, and I still have tons of stuff to do, so here is a breakdown of this week:
-Sunday, we moved our stuff in to the apartment! Thanks to Barb, Jerry, and Robert for your awesome muscles! And to Lindsay for being so great about Robert helping us to move, and Wes move in to his cabin all of last week. Tis no small feat to hang out with two little kids for a week while your hubby is out helping his family. Thanks Lindsay, you are awesome.
-We were so looking forward to sleeping in our own place, but we held off til monday night cause Lily was pretty sick on Sunday night. Took her to the doctor on monday- she has an ear infection in both ears. Super...
-Monday, we bought a new truck! Smokin hot deal from one of chris' work buddies. We are now looking to sell our supersweet lincoln town car. We officially own two cars from the same decade! Yippee! Then Mary Beth came over in the evening with her two girls, and at first I thought it might be a terrible idea to have guests in our crazy box-filled place, but she brought pizza, and we had a picnic on the floor in the living room, and it was so perfect. What great family and friends we have!
-Tuesday, we bought a new couch! We now have a place to sit in this apartment of ours. It's a three seater, but if Lily is sprawled out on it drinkin her milk, one other person can sit on the couch with her. If she lets you.
-Also on Tuesday,Topher dropped a deuce in the bath, while his Nana Barb was watching him and his sister. Lily freaked out and told Topher: "No poopoo in the water. Poopoo in the potty!" The irony of this of course is that Lily still will not poo poo in the potty. But she peed on the potty for Nana! We are gonna give this potty thing a real shot in a week or two!... Back to the Toph. That same night we were putting him to bed, and I decided to change his diaper in his crib. Mistake #1. He peed all over his bumper and sheets. Awesome. As I was changing his bed, Chris was holding our little boy, while he was still naked from the waist down. Mistake #2. Topher peed all over Chris' leg. So special...
-Wednesday, went to Walmart for some random necessities. Why is it that any time you move, you have to buy a ton of stuff, even when you are just coming from a house where you had every thing you needed?... The worst thing about apartment living is not having the car RIGHTBESIDE your home. Multiple trips from the car to the apartment was annoying to say the least. And trying to get Topher to walk from the apartment to the car is a 15 minute ordeal since he needs to inspect (and lick) every bush, twig, and ant he passes along the way.
-Today, Topher has an ear infection too. Again, so special. The timing. All of it.
But, we are really doing SO GREAT in the midst of all the BUSYNESS, which is the title for this season of life we are presently in. God has been so good to us, and every night, as I lay exhausted in my psychotic mess of a room (I saved this one for last) I have nothing but praises for the One who has given us so much in this little new place of ours.

Friday, September 18, 2009

this week

My older brother, Alex (Jeeho), came on Monday afternoon and just left earlier today. I saw him in Toronto when I was last there in May, but he hasn't been in Phoenix since before Lily was born! Crazy. I am really glad he was able to spend some time with us here in the desert, especially since he rarely gets to see his only niece and nephews. And boy did Lily, Sungu, and Topher love hanging out with their 'samchoon' (which is 'uncle' in Korean, but specifically your mother's brother. There are 5 different ways to say 'uncle' based on how they are related to you, and their birth order.)

The best story from this week would have to be from when we went swimming one day. Well, we went swimming almost everyday that we were all here at Wes' house. But one day in particular, Lily was swimming with Chris, Alex was swimming with Sungu, and I had the good fortune of swimming freely on my own. Chris started throwing Lily up in the air and catching her, and Sungu wanted to 'fly' too. So my brother throws Sungu up in the air, and doesn't catch him. Accidentally of course. We were all standing there, dumbfounded at what had happened. It felt like eons, but it had to have been two seconds that Sungu was underwater. We all reached under to grab the poor boy, and my brother caught him by the ankles and brought him up for air. Sungu was about to cry until he realized that he was still alive and too thankful to be crying. Needless to say, my brother was not allowed to throw any more kids up in the air in the pool.

The week was filled with mcuh busyness, and randomness, as usual. I lost my voice on Sunday, which apparently was an allergic reaction to my living with the cats for the last two weeks. Who woulda thunk? Chris also got invited to the Cardinals game that morning, which would have been way more amazing if he wasn't already booked to watch the kids while I drove to Tucson (in peace and quietness!) to pick up Jeehon and Sungu. But who can pass up free Cardinal tickets? Surely not I, nor my hubby. So Chris went to the game, I went to Tucson, with the kids, and no voice, and somehow it all worked out well. Praise Jesus. Then my siblings, the kids, and I went to Sierra Vista on Wednesday, and then we abandonned the Malloys and came back last night. Lots of driving happened this week. But also lots of good times, mixed with good food. I love it when we have visitors, we always eat better when they are around! Oh yes, part of the good food extravaganza also had to do with my beautiful Grandma Watson celebrating her 78th birthday on Wednesday (though we also did some pre-celebrating on Tuesday as well.) Happy Birthday Grandma!

And now we are coming up to the weekend and Sunday is move day for us! (Move 2 of 2. Finally!) So I am now getting ready to move, again. Finishing up laundry, cleaning up our portion of Wes and Kim's ginormous abode, repacking some of the boxes here to be in smaller boxes (ie. throwing more crap in the garbage.) Oh yeah, and I am washing the kids' car seats cause they are so beyond disgusting from all the time they spent in their car seats this week. There's juice, ice cream, sweat, cracker crumbs... Oh how I loathe undoing the car seats from the car, then undoing all the buckles and snaps to remove the covers to wash them, then rebuckle all the millions of buckles only to put them back on and have the kids get them nasty again... I looked into getting those car seat covers that don't require you to undo the straps, but they are about fifty bucks each... gonna have to pray about that....

But in the midst of all of this randomness of life, I am so thankful. Thankful for my amazing family- on the Ham, and Watson sides. Thankful for the time we were able to spend hanging out at Chateau Watson, and getting ready to start our new simpler (hopefully!) lives at Apartment Watson.