what to do?

here's a picture that chris' grandfather just sent him, from an easter celebrated many moons ago! so cute.

so it's 10:27pm. so many things i could be/should be doing right now. put laundry in the dryer (i will definitely do this at some point before bed!). put dishes in the dishwasher (not holding my breath on this one). make banana bread, just cause i feel like eating banan bread tomorrow (but that's probably not going to happen either). read the bible (it is easter season!). look at listings our realtor sent us for a new home. start decorating a cake that is 'due' this thursday (i'm really excited about this cake. yes, cake, not cupcakes. but not excited enough to start working on it...) tidy up the apartment. look up some preschools for lily, and possibly topher too. find some extra-curricular programs for lily (and possibly topher) to do, like t-ball and ballet (former for both, latter for lily only!) etc. etc.

so much to do. so very little desire or energy to do anything but sit in this chair. i barely want to post a post, but theni would really just be sitting here doing absolutely nothing.

the past couple days have been exhausting and entertaining. i have taken some awesome pics of some things, and didn't have a camera for some other things. example- i was hanging out with my girlfriend christin, and her two girls. cambry, christin's oldest, is topher's age. and they are so cute together! i will NOT say she is topher's girlfriend, cause quite frankly that girl has many suitors after her! she was the only girl born in '08, in the midst of three very handsome boys being born that same year. anyhoo, christin has a 'great' backyard. very pretty, complete with a fountain and a putting green. the putting green happens to also have 3 sand traps. my kids thought the sand traps were a little piece of beachy heaven. at one point, christin and i were watching topher, kneeled in the sand, with his sister smashing sand into his newly shaven locks. handfuls of sand. smashing. into his 'hair'. awesome. then it looked like topher had grabbed a handful of sand and put it down the back of his pants, into his pull-up. i was shocked later when there was no sand in my son's butt crack. delightfully shocked mind you. the whole time at christin's was a riot, but i didn't have my camera on hand for any of those ridiculous moments. oh yeah, topher also grabbed a nasal aspirator off of the table, then went to lie down on the couch and tried to aspirate his own nose with this aspirator that does not belong to him.

lily and topher are being really hilarious, cute, and obnoxious these days. the terrible twos have definitely entered topher's life. lily's counting in spanish is kinda the funniest and cutest thing in the world. and she is trying to dress herself when we go out, and it's nuts. especially since she got a trunk full of dress-up clothes for her birthday. today she wore a regular old skirt with a glitzy, frilly, faux-crushed-velvet pink bustier-type princess shirt, complete with glued on jewels and everything. topher is testing his limits still. but is responding a bit better to his beatings (read:slaps on the hand!) i smacked his hand cause he tried to run away from me int he parking lot today. then when we were walking on the sidewalk, he insisted on holding my hand, even though that is not one of our rules. it was so nice though, so maybe i will make it one.

i have been waking up at six every morning this week. topher has gotten lily off of her schedule (she used to wake up anywhere between 7 and 8) and now she gets up at 6 too. although this week, the kids took turns waking up at six, or before. it's like they planned out the night before who was going to get to sleep in (never me), and who would wake me up early. mean little monkeys.

but, in my efforts to be a better human being, a nicer mom, a better christian, i have been trying to be more thankful in all situations. so though it takes me a little while to snap out of zombie-mode, once i get that coffee maker going, i try to enjoy my time with the kiddies, even though it is so dark cause the sun is BARELY UP!... deep breath... relax.

so, i guess that's it for now. it's already almost 11, which means i need to be up and at em in about 7 hours, so maybe i will try to get 7 hours of sleep for a change! it'll be nice to have energy for church, volunteering, making dips, then going to a rockin family easter bbq + easter egg hunt at nana and papa's.
that's it for now. good night all.

I'm Eating Humble Pie for Easter

our small group has been reading colossians. we wanted to set ourselves up for success, so we picked one of the shortest books of the bible. there are only 4 chapters. we've been at it for about 4-5 weeks. we are ALMOST finished with chapter two. almost. it's good though, because the whole book is jam-packed with too much good information. not that other books in the bible are NOT packed with too much good information. you know what i'm saying.
anyhoo, i read ahead a few weeks ago, and am completely stuck on chapter 3. the part about 'rules for holy living'. yikes. chris' grandmother told me once that she was studying the love verse in 1 corinthians, and she tried to practice each attribute of love, starting with 'love is patient' continuing on to 'love is kind, it does not envy...' i think she said she was 'stuck' on the first one for quite a while. which is understandable cause it was when she was mothering 4 young boys.
anyhow, so i am reading through this chapter, and it's making me feel like garbage, cause i realize more and more that i am full of garbage: "set your heart on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things..."
with easter coming up, you'd think i would naturally be full of pious thoughts, and thankfulness for what my Savior did on the cross for me (and for you!). but alas, i have fallen captive to the american way of celebrating easter- easter dresses, easter baskets, etc. etc. i say this is the 'american way' because when i was living in canada, i was unaware that people made such a big commercial deal about easter. but i was unaware of quite a bit when i lived in canada. sometimes that was a good thing, sometimes not. it didn't make me holier, maybe just apathetic.
but here in the land of the free, everywhere you go, there are beautiful and fluffy dresses for girls, supercute preppy outfits for boys, wonderfully cute things to fill easter baskets with. they are in the stores, ads appear in all 6 of my e-mail addresses, i am overcome with the desire to buy buy buy!
and is that what Easter is about? of course not. but do my thoughts rest, daily, on what easter is about? not really.
chapter 3 continues: "put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry... but now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander and filthy language from your lips." ah. so much more to work on. of late, i have been repeating the latter portion of that verse to myself when i get riled up about nothingness and am filled with impatience, and BAD WORDS. seriously, i have to repeat that about 3 times a day. minimum. i don't know why i have such anger in my heart. or filthy language from my lips. but it probably has to do with my heart, and it's condition, and what it's fixated on. and like i said before, it ain't always Jesus.
i am so stuck on that beginning part of chapter 3 that i find it hard to read on, but i must, cause it tells me what to fill the gap with: "therefore as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentlness, and patience." and there is no greater picture of someone who lived all this out, than in the person of Jesus Christ, who died on the cross, a very torturous death, and yet still displayed compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, all the while. yowsers.
if you read through colossians, one thing that is mentioned in every chapter is thankfulness. we need to be thankful, no matter what circumstances are around us. thankful for the people around us, thankful for Jesus, thankful to God, for all things.
so, no matter what you end up wearing for easter, or what is or isn't in your basket, i wish you all a happy easter.

the grass is always greener...

or it should be. my grass did not turn out very green at all. and i actually forgot to ice four extra cupcakes to make my 'field' bigger, so i didn't even use the scoreboard or bench that i made. but it worked out all the same.
i made a 'dora and friends play baseball' themed cupcake-cake for the kids' birthdays this weekend. lily and topher love the show. topher admittedly loves boots, dora's monkey friend, but yes- he loves a 'girl' show. chris doesn't really care, since he just calls dora topher's girlfriend. that makes him a ladies' man, and apparently there's nothing wrong with that.
anyway, i need to work on taking better pictures of my cupcakes, cause i thought i had good pictures, but when i looked at them, i realized they kinda stunk. weird lighting, therefore weird flash.
anyway, i made my own buttercream icing. that added about an hour to my process. and that's not including the dishes. oh how i loathe doing the dishes after making buttercream and washing it out of my icing tips! at least i use disposable icing bags. i am attempting to try to get ready to do more 'homemade' stuff and less 'from the box/can' stuff. it's time consuming though. and it already took me about 6 hours to make all the little figures for the cupcakes. maybe i could do it faster, if i did it all in one sitting. but i did it over three nights, after the kids went to bed, and i watched lots of GLEE (awesome) and American Idol (terrible) all the while. dora did not turn out the way i was hoping she would. but backpack did! and i really enjoyed making the trees and flowers.
the kids recognized their 'friends' boots, swiper the fox, map, backpack, and dora, so i guess my cupcakes were a success in their very young, and non-descriminating eyes. hope you enjoy these pics as much as my kids enjoyed stuffing these sweet confections in their faces.

Toto's Two

when i look at topher with his new haircut, i see topher-from-the-past. when he was a skinny little baby with a big ol'head, without much hair. now he's a skinny little boy with a big ol'head, without much hair!

saturday we celebrated topher's 2nd birthday! yowsers. we went to liberty market for brunch with topher's only state-side imo- grace, and charles. topher ate most of my grilled bread pudding, which meant i had to eat most of his pizza. it worked out pretty well, especially since he got my bread pudding for free! (thanks again Joe!)then we proceeded to chandler mall to ride the train, again. except chris was around and got to ride the train with the kids for the first time!

geez louise kids. try not to look so exicted...
the day was looking alot like lily's birthday, so we decided to mix things up a bit and go to church. it's funny, but because lily and topher are so close in age, i sometimes take for granted that they are two different human beings. topher often gets the short end of the stick because he is smart and easy going. he almost talks as much as lily does. and he almost pees on the potty as much as lily does. but he's a year younger than her! he just moved into his big boy bed, and he is going through the exact same transition issues as she was at his age. he either wakes up really early (a bit before 6) and stays up, or he wakes up at 4ish, cries to make sure he is not alone in the world, and quickly drifts back off to sleep. and it made me so mad at first, because i was tired, and cause i already went through this crazy stage with lily. but topher is very much entitled to have a turn too!

topher is a great little monster. he has the best poker face in the world. maybe he will make millions on the world poker circuit. you can't always tell if he is scared, sad, happy, or elated by the expression on his face. that always makes me laugh. sometimes when he speaks, his nostrils flare automatically. again- very funny. the way he calls lily 'noona' is one of the sweetest sounds. he loves his noona. he also really really really likes food. if there is food on the table, topher is at the table. he always finishes eating before everyone because he always starts eating before everyone. he has to have his first bite before we start our mealtime prayer, and often struggles to swallow his first taste of whatever goody someone has given him, so that he can say 'thank you' for the treat.

topher, you are so very special to dad and me. we love you SO MUCH. and we are SO THANKFUL that God blessed us with such an incredible, cute, hilarious, and tender-hearted little guy like yourself. i am sorry i expect you to act like a three year old (read: a 20 year old actually) even though you just turned 2! topher, you are a superduper kid, and though you are loving on the superhero- batman, pretty hard right now, he ain't got nothing on you.


this pic was from a week ago. he loves his hand-me-down batman uniform (from sungu!)as you will see in a second...


birthday batman to the rescue! 'what? this cupcake needs to be demolished? no problemo!'


batman, half man, half bat, totally incredible. happy birthday bubba. we love you so much!

Good Bye Glorious Hair!

i have made two attempts in topher's life to cut his hair. the first attempt was not that bad. the second... was horrifyingly bad. i was banished from the use of scissors (which makes cutting coupons an extra special task.) just joking. i am allowed to use scissors. just not near topher's head.
then chris and i decided it was time for a change. mostly cause topher's bedhead was starting to look like a bird had built a nest on his head and was awaiting the arrival of little baby birds.
so tuesday night was the fateful night and here are pics from our awesome adventure:

topher with his gorgeous, those sparse, locks:


patiently awaiting his turn while papa jerry got his hair trimmed up first. he was pretty excited about this whole hair-falling-off-of-your-head business!


loving his first hair cut from someone other than mama!


who needs hair to be good looking??? not these three studs!

The Darndest Things

lily is a pretty bossy little lady. today as we were all just playing hide-and-surprise (you hide under the covers then yell surprise. even if there is no one around to surprise). topher was not wearing a diaper or undies, so i kept reminding him that it's not ok to pee on my bed. then lily took over, as she very often does:
"topher, tell mom if you have to pee. topher, no pee on the bed. topher you have to tell mom if you have to pee pee on the potty. just pee pees on the potty. topher no pee pee in my eye. ok? no pee pee in my eye."
wow. that's a good rule that i never thought to make.so far, so good. topher has not peed in anyone's eyes.
then as we were finishing up our snack of yogurt and muffins, the kids got out of their seats with mischief in their eyes. topher slowly sauntered over to lily's spot, took her untouched muffin, walked around the corner to a spot where i could just see him smirking, and jammed the muffin in his greedy little mouth.
this was the perfect oportunity for lily to grab the rests of topher's yogurt and polish it off before he cam back. both kids were fully satisfied by their 'stolen snacks' and all-around deviousness, so much so that neither recognized that not only had they stolen something from the other, but they in fact had gotten robbed as well.

Lily is 3. THREE. Dang!

three years ago, at this very moment, i was laying in a hospital bed, playing cribbage with chris and robert, peeing through a catheter, and waiting for lily to arrive.
seven hours later, i would meet my little/huge daughter. that day she went through the birth canal, entered the world, met her mom, dad, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and most of my awesome friends. that day she also learned how to eat using her mouth, and how to pee and poo in a diaper. a big day for everyone.


two years ago, around this time, i was still really pregnant, hoping topher would not arrive early, because we were having a big 1st birthday celebration for lily. she was just mastering her walk, learning to eat 'real people' food, and figuring out how to wind daddy even tighter around her little finger.


this day, last year, we had a fun little birthday party for our little lady at mc donalds. she was not saying much, but thinking plenty.her favorite past-times included crying, playing, running, watching the backyardigans, and hanging out with her cousin sungu, and brother topher.


today is lily's third birthday and i cannot believe she is already three. it's craziness. sheer and utter craziness. this morning we went to mc donald's with chris. we played on the slide, ate some 'eggs' (are those really eggs?) with 'fancy ketchup' (that's what the package says), and had a gay old time as a family. then chris went to work and the kids and i proceeded to chandler mall (again!) to ride the train and play in the play area. more fun ensued. now are home, topher is napping, lily is reading this post behind me, trying to correct my grammar as i go along.

we have had our ups over the last three years, and we have had our downs. we have taken turns acting like giant, stubborn, unreasonable, and selfish babies. i probably had my turn for longer than i should have. maybe as the mom, i wasn't ever supposed to have a turn actually... but in the midst of lily's growth over the last three years, one of her finest qualities that has really shone through has been her deep love for her family, especially topher. this love dislpays itself through many hugs and kisses, through the words: "i love you", through emapthy when someone else is in pain, through making sure everyone stays quiet while topher naps (even though she should also be napping!), and especially through her forgiveness- not keeping any record of wrongs, especially all of mine.

anyway, i just wanted to wish my precious little lily a super happy birthday, because you make me verry happy.