Happy Birthday Gabriel

dear gabriel,
my sweet little nephew. do you know how special you are? sure, your family loves you. you're hilarious! you're tons of fun to be around! everything makes you laugh, and that makes everyone else laugh. you are ridiculously smart- you can remember EVERYONE'S name! a gift i haven't seen since the likes of a young jenna gagnon. you love thomas the train right now, hence the birthday cupcakes i got to decorate for you (thanks! i loved doing it!), which is a step up from dj the dinosaur.
but gabe, do you know how special you are- to Jesus? did you know that when your mama was pregnant with you, we thought we might have lost you? do you know how many people petitioned for your life that weekend? do you know that God answers prayers? i hope you know that because you are a HUGE answer to prayer!
gabe, today you are two, which i cannot even believe! you are a joy to everyone around you, but most importantly you are a joy to our Lord, and that is why you are here. cause He really wants you to be who you are, where you are.
gabe, you are a pastor's son. and that kinda sucks- cause people are watching you. but that just means you have an incredible opportunity to show everyone around you how special you are, and how special Jesus is.
gabers, my wonderful nephew, i wish you a very happy birthday and i pray for you and your future, cause it is bound to be a bright one.
i love you.
aunt jihae

28 great moments

i went out for dinner for my birthday a few weeks ago with chris, jeehon, james, and our wonderful friend grace. chris asked 'what was the best moment of your life?' and i answered him #10. which isn't really number 10. i guess it's number one since that's what i said to him. but then we all went around and answered the question, which i loved. answers varied from waking up to a pile of cash, to meeting my sister and i.
so i've decided to compile a list of 28 great moments to commemorate the 28 years that i have lived. they are absolutely in no particular order, so don't be thinking i am building up to something great for #28, cause it's actually kinda lame. but enjoy my list anyway.

1. super cheesey- but hanging out as our little family of four is pretty awesome. the kids are always doing and saying funny things now, and i just love love love our little family to pieces.
2. giving birth to lily. that was a doozey. but holding her and knowing that chris and i actually made this little (GIGANTIC) thing was beyond insane.
3. having topher fall out of the birth canal. that was also insane. and the recovery from that was the best. but again, meeting my son was pretty fantastic.
4. getting to drive my 'dream car'- jeep grand cherokee. even if it was short lived, and only to be followed by driving a mini van. my anti-dream car.
5. not having sex with my boyfriend in high school/university. i dated this one fella for 7 years on and off. more off than on. but i thought i was in love and that i might end up marrying him eventually. so we really almost had sex one day. like for real. condom was there and everything. but above all- the Holy Spirit was there and did NOT allow it to happen. thank you thank you Jesus!
6. finding out topher was a boy. chris loves Lily. LOVES her. but he really needed to have a boy. if topher had been a girl, i feel like i would be pregnant again already, just so chris could have his boy. thankfully he wasn't and i'm not.
7. going to japan to hang out with my sister for 3 weeks. it was my first time away from home without my parents. i gained about 5-10 pounds eating japanese ramen (which is THE BEST ramen out there!) and other wonderful goodies.
8. watching my dad walk my sister down the aisle when she got married. lots of prayers and fights and so on occured to make that happen. but they were so happy and everything was just as it was supposed to be.
9. almost four years ago, chris and i found a small group comprised of 7 couples, including chris and i. and having those couples still in our lives is a pretty wonderful thing.
10. getting engaged to chris. he went above and beyond the call of duty on that one. it think i wrote about it in my 'ode to chris' section a few months ago...
11. the day i went to a youth revival and DIDN'T feel like i needed to 'rededicate my life' to the Lord. i was dedicated and i knew it! i think that was better than the day i 'received Christ', cause maybe i didn't do it right back then anyway... i think i received Jesus and rededicated myself to Him at about 5 or 6 different camps and revivals.
12. the moment a bug fell out of my eye, after it had been trapped in there for HOURS. i thought i was going to be blind. i thought it was punishment for something i had done. i prayed and prayed for forgiveness and for that danged bug to come out. and it did! i'm not blind. but i knew that prayer- and excessive blinking, were going to play major roles in my life. i was 7 at the time.
13. watching the 'Mask of Zorro' with all of my siblings. this was maybe 10 years ago. my youngest brother had already seen it and said it wasn't funny. then it ended up being one of the funniest movies we had ever seen. but when the five of us are together, things are always more ridiculous and funny than at any other time.
14. being at Sun Valley and watching people get baptized. every time i see it, it's amazing. new life. so fresh and so beautiful. i love it.
15. one night my sister and i went for a drive. she parked across the street for this gigantic house and told me that it was ours. i was in shock. It was the first house that my parents had bought and that we had lived in. It was an extra half hour away from my already-one-hour-away high school. but since i was about to be a senior, and public transportation in toronto is phenomenal, i was pretty excited about the whole thing.
16. leaving above-mentioned house at 2am to go pick up my brothers from the clubbing district downtown (to dance. not hit people, or seals.) my brothers are 2 years younger than me, and they were calling me cause 1. they didn't have a drivers license (even though they were of driving age), and 2. they didn't want to get in the car with any of their drunk friends. i was really happy to do it.
17. every time i am back in toronto, eating or walking around with my friends and family. it's always nice to be back home. and it is always very nice to eat great food with great people. that's acutally probably my favorite thing in the world to do.
18. the day i picked up one of my writing assignments and my professor wrote as a comment that i should look for a publisher for my piece. i still haven't. that was almost 7 years ago. but it was a great moment.
19. meeting barb and jerry in oregon while chris and i were 'on a break.' so great to meet the woman who would soon become my mother-in-law and one of my closest friends. though the circumstances were as strange as could be. but i was also with jeehon and we were about to do some more west coast traveling and that was good clean fun.
20. chris and i had just had an 'issue' about this one girl he knows. then we went to the suns game with his dad and robert and it came up again, and it was hilarious. seeing chris with his dad and brother always cracks me up. these men are never afraid to say 'i love you', especially to each other. they are three of the funniest and most ridiculous human beings i know.
21. living in korea in a small apartment with my older brother, sister, and our crazy friend sooha. we were rarely all home at the same time, but when we were, it was all jokes and laughter.
22. when jeehon worked for us airways. my parents came down to see us all the time. i went to boston, san francisco, toronto, and los angeles for free, or almost free. that was a pretty great traveling year!
23. two weeks ago when i finally got to see Lily really pee on the toilet. i really felt like i would never see that day!
24. when i was in 2nd grade or so, one of my buddies went to India with his family. he was gone for almost a month. which is the equivalent of 2 years when you're a little kid. he came back to school, and everyone wanted to talk to him, and sit near him at lunch. i figured he had forgotten about me and our friendship from way back when, and then as we were getting packed up to go home, he came over to me and told me he bought something for me- a beautiful silk wallet with flowers on it. i still remember it. it was amazing. he bought one for me, and one for another friend, and that was it. i felt really special that day.
25. our rehearsal dinner. all of our friends and family were there. even the friends who weren't involved in the wedding, but had come from out of town. i really could feel the love. it was a joyous occassion. and an opportunity to hang out with my friends in a way that i couldn't at the wedding. cause your wedding is crazy, but the rehearsal dinner shouldn't be. and of course, it was the day before i got to marry chris. that made the occassion all the greater.
26. road trips with chris. el paso was a good one. all the times we've gone to vegas together have been pretty great. even the moving caravan from oregon to here in 24 hours was pretty great too. they are just extrended dates for chris and i to enjoy each other's company and conversation and not get distracted by dishes, tv, or anything else.
27. working at Global Christian School for 3 years. i really met some people who changed my life, my outlook on missions, and helped me have a better relationship with Jesus and His Word.
28. one birthday while i was in university (or maybe high school... and i was just studying at the university...) was really quiet and kinda depressing. january birthdays in canada aren't that fun cause there are exams to be studied for, and it is COLD! i remember being at the library, studying/sleeping. then my mom called me and said she wanted to go out for dinner. so she came to the library, picked me up, then we went to china town and had lobster. oh to have a wonderful mother and lobster in black bean sauce!

secrets to OUR potty training 'success'

we are definitely not 100% potty trained in the watson household yet. well, i am. we are working on chris and the kids ;) lily is 100% in undies all the livelong day, but wears a Pull-Up at night to sleep. she has not woken up even close to dry yet. according to lots of parents i know- this is ok to do. i have heard of other parents who had their kids in undies at night and just did a ton of laundry every day. i am not those 'other parents'. topher is getting so great at telling us when he has to go, even if he is wearing a Pull-Up, which he does when we are out and about. he has occasional accidents in his undies still, but that's ok! we are so proud of both of our kids we could throw up.

here are some of the things that we did that worked for us. now, please remember that we tried potty training about 3-4 months ago and that was a DISASTER. if you are potty training and it's not going well- just STOP. read my posts from before about potty training, give thanks you are not me, and take a breather. for everyone's sake. i have heard and read that potty training shouldn't be hard, and that when your kid is ready it will be easy and painless. i never ever thought i would be able to say this- especially with potty training lily, but it's so true! it was pretty easy!

step 1- fail and move on.
we tried. we failed. we stopped. we moved on.

step 2- prepare ye the way.
after some time had passed from our failure, chris and i started warning/telling/prophesying that one day there would be no diapers in the house and that she would HAVE to pee on the potty. we told her this starting in novemeber. we did our potty training camp in january. lily likes to know what's going on, and i think she really appreciated the warning. topher on the other hand, doesn't really care what's going on or when, he just wants to be a part of the fun. we did not prepare him at all i don't think. at least not verbally the way we HAD TO with lily. all kids are different. even if they have the same genetic make-up.

step 3- comfort, not chaos
they say to make sure things are not chaotic. 'they' being 'profesional potty trainers/pediatricians/moms, etc... i will give them some kuddos for this advice as well. we did not have anything going on in january. we had been in the apartment long enough. we were in our daily schedules. everything was good to go. the kids had been hanging out on their potties for quite a while. topher even peed a few times. lily- not so much. but she didn't mind sitting on it again which was great. we talked about pottying more and more as the day approached. we watched videos and read books about it. again- more for and with lily than with topher. and lily was pretty excited about undies this time cause she knew some of her friends were wearing them. we bought some that she and topher got to pick out themselves, and this made the process more fun, and more real for both of them too.

step 4- pray!
actually, for me, this was step 2. post-failure. i don't think i prayed all that hard about potty training the first time i did it. and failed. after that i prayed and prayed and prayed. i prayed for lily to be ready and for us to know when that might be. i prayed for myself to be ready for anything- failure part 2, or success. i was a mess. like seriously scared. i was scared that lily would legitamitely never want to be potty trained. i was scared that we would fight again like we did before. i was afraid that i would lose my mind again like i did before. i needed peace, to be calm and courageous to proceed with our plan. therefore i needed to pray. and i thank Jesus for having helped us out as much as He did!

step 5- stock up.
during our first attempt to potty train, we bought some 'big items' to 'entice/bribe' the children to pee in the potty. it did NOT work then. so we still had these toys, and brought them out this time around. the kids were happy to receive their prizes, but did not necessarily pee to receive them. or at least topher didn't. he peed 3 times and we gave him his toy. he was happy. this made lily want her toy a little more, so she peed 3 times that first day and received her toy. and was happy. but then the next day when the kids both had accidents on the floor, chris took the toys away. toys may or may not work for you. they were not really a deal maker or breaker for us.
but i did stock up on juice boxes, yogurt drinks, candy, and stickers. these were the real tools we needed for potty training. the kids drank A LOT the first two days of potty training. just to make them need to go. and they got a reward for even just sitting on the potty. this made the day fun, and very sugary. lots of teeth brushing occured those days.
i thought the stickers might be more fun for the kids to put on their charts, but they didn't care as much as i did. the chart was a good reminder for chris and i as to how many pees made it into the potty, and we could see their progress every day. progress is always good.
we also 'stocked up' on Pull-Ups, but hid them. we used to have a drawer with diapers in it in the living room. if the kids needed/wanted to be changed, they opened the drawer and brought us a diaper. both of our kids, at some point, checked to see if there were diapers in the drawer, and there wasn't a single one. they knew we were serious!

step 6- set the timer and go go go.
one of my girlfriend's who has successfully potty trained her two girls told me that she set her microwave timer for every 20 minutes, and whenever that timer rang, her kids sat on the toilet. and they did this all day, for a few days. except when they were napping. cause everyone needs a break. so we did this, and it worked out well for us.
one thing that tripped me up a bit with lily was that she would say she had to go and then either not go, or take 20 minutes to go. i had visions of us being at target for hours, in the dirty bathroom, waiting and waiting for lily to pee. the first day and a half was spent WAITING for the pee to flow. but when it started flowing- it's like the flood gates were opened and there was no more waiting. lily knew when she had to pee, and when she peed she did it as soon as she sat down. it was awesome.

step 7- keep on keepin on.
every time your kid says they have to pee- get up and put them on the pot. they won't always go, but if you don't listen to them, they will have an accident sooner than later, and you will probably both feel discouraged because of it. this happened with topher once or twice... (learn from my mistakes people! i make tons of them!)
and like lily, even though things may start slowly, they will pick up eventually.
the whole thing is pretty exhausting for everyone, cause there is so much getting up and down. setting the timer. turning it off. getting the carpet cleaner. going to the bathroom. getting more juice. going to the bathroom to empty the potty. etc, etc. but in the end it all pays off! just be prepared to work for your reward though.

this is what worked for US. if you are about to embark on the potty training journey-i bid thee good luck! if you should happen to stumble, or fall off of your horse completely- that's ok. give it a couple weeks or months and try try again. know your kids, what they like, what they need. for some kids this thing takes 3 days, and for others it takes a LOT MORE. and all of that is OK. your kid WILL pee pee in the potty!

The Lesson to Learn

I probably get a racial slur thrown at me about once a year. Twice if I hang out in really ignorant parts of town. My first 'racist' experience in Arizona was right outside of Freestone gym. I just finished 'working out' (sitting on an exercise bike, watching tv.) I was walking out to my car when two high school aged boys started 'Ching Chong-ing' it up. I was livid and speechless. I really just wanted to get into my car and run them over. Seriously. Not Christianly, but that's how I felt. Fortunately I was dumbfounded for so long that the boys were able to peddle away on their bicycles. Racist slurs really get me fired up. So fired up I usually say nothing, occassionally cry, then think for HOURS what I could have and should have said and done.

Today I was up in Scottsdale, playing with the kids in the playground, while Chris and James played flag football. A beautiful day to be out! There were tons of people all over the place. I was having a fine time with my babes, when all of a sudden two girls, about 13 years old I would say, started singing a song: "ching ching chong chong..." Really?!?!? This is the same 'song' I have heard sung all my life! It was my theme song when I would go play in the playground at school. Over 20 years ago! C'mon people! We can't come up with something better than that???

Anyhoo, my blood started to boil, but I calmly looked at these two girls and said: "Hey, you guys wouldn't happen to be singing that song cause you think I'm Chinese, would you?" I don't have a problem with CHinese people. So this is not a statement against them. If I were Chinese, I would be proud to be Chinese. And I would probably be a part of voting Yao Ming into the All Star game's starting line up every year. (except for this year!... is it cause he's injured? I've not been up on my NBA news this year.) Anyhoo, the girls looked at me in surprise and said: "Uh no. It's a song on YouTube." Clever, and yet still so ignorant...

I don't want my kids to be the victims of racism. No one should be. Race is not something you can choose. Just like you can't choose the parents who genetically created you. Or how you can't choose skipping dessert even though you are full. It's impossible! If someone sings terribly, but thinks they're amazing- sure, laugh at them. That's what American Idol is for, right? If my kids have a stupid looking hair cut that I gave them- sure! Yuk it up! It'll give them thicker skin. But don't make fun of someone because of the color of their skin. There's just no point. They can't change that!

Chris tells me I should not let this kind of thing bother me. Easier said than done my love. I have to say this incident has bothered me less than other times- but I think it's cause I said something. I know you can't cure stupid. My comment may not have enlightened these young girls at all. My running those two high school boys over with my Jeep 4 years ago probably wouldn't have taught them the lesson they needed to learn. But what is the lesson that needs to be learned?
-If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all?
-Don't judge people by the color of their skin?
-Don't assume every Asian person is Chinese, even though there are about 1.3 billion of them in the world, and about 3.5 million of them living in North America?

What do you think the lesson should be? What would you, or do you say to people if you have ever been racially slurred at? I am very interested in knowing what you think the 'proper' response would be. I am working on proper responses every day, so this would help me out a ton. Thanks.

this is why...

chris is why, actually.

chris is why the kids have crazy poops. and chris is why the kids are crazy- cause he's crazy.

my beautiful husband got home from work at about 8:30pm. which is the time i was expecting him. the kids stayed up a hair longer to see him. and boy were they happy to see their old man. hugs, kisses, chaos ensued. finally the kids were in bed.

chris ate the leftovers from dinner while catching his breath on the couch. my poor husband and his crazy schedule. i had some work i had to do, so i encouraged my husband to go on the run he had been talking about since yesterday. dang it, maybe some of this is my fault... anyhoo, he digests for about another 5 minutes or so, takes a work-related phone call, downloads Glee Volume 2 to his MP3 player (with the happiest look on his face. i just got this for my birthday and he could not be happier about the gift that he did not give me.) then he was out the door.

about 15 minutes later i get a text from him: "Yikes!! Poop attack."
i respond: "Don't poo in your pants! Lily will be mad at you. So will I."
he responds: "I might go in a field."
i respond: "Wow. Eww. I still love you. Don't get arrested."
(we aren't on twitter. cause we don't unerstand it. and no one would follow us cause all we would do is talk about poo. like i do on this blog...)

then silence. for about 30 minutes. no response from the running pooping fool. and as i work at the computer, beside the window, i can hear the rain starting to fall. gingerly at first. then it really starts coming down. and all i can think of is my poor husband with his pants around his ankles, listening to Glee, pooping in a field with a bunch of cows staring at him, rain pouring down, police lights flashing. A mix of terror and delight (just from the music. it really uplifts the guy) flood over him.

finally i stop working/thinking about chris and decide to just call him. "where are you? are you ok?" i ask. trying not to sound panicked, but also listening for any sirens in the background. chris is ok. he's actually still running. he's 15 minutes away from home. he found a gas station. how anti-climactic. and that's the end of this terrible story. but at least i don't have to clean another poopy butt.

Got Pony?

does anyone have a pony i can borrow?

ok. i was just joking about promising the kids a pony if they pooed on the potty. but yesterday, topher pooped on the potty all by himself!

we were just hanging out in the living room. i was doing something. lily was chillin. topher was hanging out. then he saunters over to the potty, which is strategically placed in the middle of the living room, drops a deuce, then yells out: "Mama, I did pee pee!" I walked over to my boy, very proud of him already, and was so surprised to see the most beautiful little poop sitting so pleasntly in our little green potty.

"Topher! You did a poo poo! You get a cookie!" I say with a giant smile on my face.
"Cookie? Yeah!" All Topher ever hears is: "Cookie".
Then Lily chimes in: "Topher, poo poo? I'm so proud of you! She is not jealous or embarrassed by her little brother's achievement. Nothing in her makes her want to poo on the potty.

She has now pooped twice on the carpet. Fortunately for me, they were very solid and did not leave a mark on the ground. Fortuntaly for her, though the poops were solid- they were neither the size of babies, nor were suppositories involved in prying them out.

So Lily is 100% in undies during the day. 100% in Pull-Ups at night. And butt-naked when she has to poo. On the floor. Topher pees and poos on the potty, and often tells us when he has to go, even when we are out and about. But he also still pees in his undies, which is the main thing we are working on with him. I don't know if it's comfusing for him to be in undies/free-ball/Pull Ups during the day, and then Pull Ups at night, but he is doing pretty well in our books. (and yes, I said 'free-ball.')

working on it...

'it' is not poop in this post.

i am going through my many posts and trying to label them. this is going to take awhile... i'm working on it.

i am also working on trying to post more stuff about our crazy and wonderful week in potty training last week... i'm working on it.

i have a gigantic list of things to do today. i am very very slowly working on it...

but one of the things i have on my list is to post about a geat conversation i had with my co-worker yesterday. she was giving me some 'tips' on having quiet times for a friend of mine who is leading high school girls and wants to encourage them in their quiet times. since my friend and co-worker is a pastor's wife, this kinda makes her a 'professional Christian', so i knew she would have something great to say. and she did!

she was telling me about how her church is going through the book of Mark in a year. YES. a year. there are 16 chapters. i'm not sure how they are going to do, it, but it sounds very interesting.

anyhoo, so she has been reading Mark chapter 1 for quite some time now, and she made an observation that she had never realized before in all the many times she has read Mark. This is right when Jesus is being baptized by John the Baptist:

"And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him." Mark 1: 11-13

the thing that struck my friend was how God said He was please with Jesus and IMMEDIATELY threw Him into the desert to be hungry, alone (well, he was with the devil, but you know what i mean) and tempted. This was a blessing. This was God's will. Sometimes we look at people who have it all and we think:"wow! that person is blessed! they have it all." Then we look at others who don't have it all, who look like their lives are very long desert experiences, and we tend to think: "what did they do to vex the Lord? what sins could they have committed to make the Lord so mad at them?" and this isn't the right way to think at all! and i do it all the time! so shame on me. and shame on you if you do it too. God is blessing us by bringing us through the desert- cause He is the one bringing us there, which is something we tend to forget. His angels are there to attend to us, if we would just let them.

i finished reading Job on my reading schedule, and at the end of Job's trials it says: "All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before came and ate with him in his house. They comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought upon him, and each one gave him a piece of silver and a gold ring." Job 42:11

i love it when things just fit together like a neat little puzzle. if you are hurting, or feel like you are in the desert, don't go it alone. don't let the devil tempt you into thinking you are alone, or unloved or forgotten by God. cause you are not. He has brought people around you to comfort and console you. let them do it. let them feed you. let them pray for you. and if they have it- let them give you pieces of silver and gold rings. (i've got the former two, but the latter two i am fresh out of!) this is definitely something we can work on together.