Thursday, March 19, 2009

2 years

I really should be asleep right now. It's past midnight and we are going to the zoo tomorrow morning. And the zoo really wipes me out. All that walking and pushing of the heavy double stroller! (That's my secret to weight loss post-two-babies!) The zooreally does need to invest in those conveyor belt sidewalk things like they have at the airport. Maybe they could line the animals up in a nice little row so my kids can see them as we zip on by, expending little to no energy. A mom can dream...

Anyhoo, I am not sleeping cause I just finished doing the dishes (I was procrastinating. I watched some tv.) But as I was doing the dishes, Lily woke up. She had a bit of a rough time going down tonight, maybe cause she knows it her birthday tomorrow! (Well, the 19th. That's kinda today already I guess). She had a pretty full diaper, so I changed that and stood in the middle of her room rocking her and singing her 'our song'- "Jesus loves me." This is 'our song' cause I used to sing it to her almost every night as I was putting her to sleep. And I didn't sing it all the time to be pious or anything- it was kinda the only kids song I knew at the time! Or the only one I could remember. Now with Topher, I can sing him a wide variety of songs and nursery rhymes thanks to the most annoying CD in the world that has over 50 songs and nursery rhymes that is on heavy rotation in the minivan.

She finally went back down, but now I am up. I have been pretty contemplative these last few days as we have been preparing for birthday season in the Watson household (TOpher's birthday is next week!) I know there are so many things I could have done better as a mother. And unfortunately I made quite a few of the same mistakes I made with Lily on Topher. Apparently you're supposed to get better with every child, not worse... Anyhoo, I thought about how she has only learned to really say about 32 words (Yeah. I counted. 27 of them are in English and 5 of them are in Korean. I may have missed some. But who knows. It's past midnight people!) And then I thought about how she wasn't walking by her birthday last year, and how she now runs 'really fast', and sometimes runs from one couch to the other, kicking up her legs like a bucking bronco when she gets to her destination point. It's so easy for me to make light of Lily's accomplishments. Too easy in fact. I just have to KEEP reminding myself that she is working really hard to do all these things. And I need to keep working hard at helping her to accomplish these things and more- at her own pace.

The whole saying about 'not sweating the small stuff' barely applies to raising a toddler- this is kinda all big stuff! Sometimes when I wish I wasn't a stay-at-home-mom, Lily does something for the first time ever- and it blows me away- cause it's the first tme she has EVER done that one thing. And had I been working, or off doing the dishes, or sulking in the corner sucking my thumb while in fetal position- I would have missed that very elusive First Time saying 'kaka', licking a lemon and making a sour face and then licking the lemon again, discovering that she is a wild stallion/bronco trapped in a little girl's body, etc. etc...

So I would just like to wish my little Miss Lily Jaye Nara Watson a superhappy 2nd birthday! And I hope and pray that I will be a better mama to her this year, and that she will be a joyful, kind, and confidant little girl because of it.

1 comment:

jenn said...

lily is a special girl with a sweet mom. i like this entry...happy belated lily. hope we meet soon.