Friday, January 8, 2010

serious rambling

i find it's really helpful to add a cute picture to a boring and long-winded post. i haven't writte the post yet. but i can tell it's going to be boring. and long winded. so enjoy the pic. try to get through the post.

so last night before bed chris and i were chatting about this 'family story' business. and he wasn't sure that he knew what i was talking about. i have lately been feeling really unsatisfied with my prayer life. for some crazy reason, i have friends who think i am a 'crazy prayer warrior'. i truly wish that were true, and i am working on becoming one. but i fall very short. i think my technical name should just be 'crazy. likes to pray. wars with the mirror daily.'

every night chris and i pray before going to bed. unless he is working at night. i love chris. and i love to pray. but i cannot wake up at 4am to pray with him. i just can't. we take turns every night, and it's really good for us. you can't really be mad at someone while you are praying with them. there have been a few times when i have been 'too upset' to pray outloud, which automatically made it chris' turn to pray again. which let chris automatically know that there was something wrong with me. good times.

so last night we were talking after we prayed. prayed for the same old thing- thanks for everything, please help, please bless, thanks again, amen. nothing earth shattering. pretty regular stuff. and that bugged me. we pray for the kids every night. and that's really important. so i don't want to take away from that. but i don't have my sights set on a whole lot outside of my immediate family, and i felt like that was my missing link.

chris said he didn't know what kind of family story i was particularly looking for, but he felt that our family story was pretty simple- to love. to love each other well, to love others well, and to show others how to love well. so cheesy sounding, but it's true. and i agree with him. my main prayers when praying for others often involve praying for marriages to be good and pregnancies to happen and be healthy. those are the two greatest sources of joy and blessing in my life, and i want others to experience the same.

i am doing a 'chronological' reading of the bible right now. i am in genesis, of course, and marriage is a huge deal. it's one of the awesome things God made in the first 6 days of creation. it's important to Him. and it should be important to us. especially if we are already married. and then after marriage, He tells us to "be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth." this has been hard for me to get my head around since my prayers for quite a few of my friends is for God to bless them with babies so that they can do what He told them to do in the first place! but that's another post for another day...

anyway, i am going to close off this post for now cause i am rambling, i pretty much don't have a point, and i am pretty sure no one has made it to this sentence. but just know that i am searching and seeking for something. and when i find it. i will let you know.

1 comment:

Shannon said...

I made it to the last sentence and I'm very interested in what you've discovered. And I'd be interested to discuss your view on NOT wanting to have children. Greg and I were just talking about that last night and debated God's view on having kids vs. not having kids. One day we can hash this out. :)